See more of the story
These are end times. Three of the four major pro teams could have top-5 picks in their respective drafts, and one of them is not the Timberwolves.

Twins: No. 2 overall; Vikings: No. 3 overall; Wild: The local NHL squad has the sixth-fewest points in the NHL right now, and it's not hard to imagine that worsening (especially considering two teams have just one fewer point).

And the Timberwolves, who play the lottery frequently enough to have the Powerball named after them, would be in the playoffs if the season ended right this minute.

End times, indeed. The only thing hotter than the Wolves right now is the Grand Forks Olive Garden. After last night's 106-94 victory over Portland, the Wolves are now 9-2 this season against Portland, Houston, Dallas and San Antonio. Per the Wolves PR folks, their record against those four teams combined in the previous four seasons? 2-57. That is not a misprint.

Are you fully prepared to accept this crazy new world order, whereby every pro team except the Timberwolves is hoping for some draft magic? Are you ready to pin your playoff hopes and dreams to a team that went 32-132 in the past two seasons combined?

The splash of water could be coming in a few days when the Wolves embark on a seven-game road trip. But if they make it through that in decent shape, look out. Unlimited breadsticks for all.