You'd think being born the 18th child in a family would leave you, well, ignored. Not so for Augustine "Willie" Dominguez, born in north Minneapolis in 1955. Dominguez said his parents were as doting and devoted as if he were an only child. His father was his lifelong role model, teaching him about integrity, hard work and the importance of family. Many know Dominguez as a former state representative for Minneapolis or as a popular program producer for KFAI Radio. But for the past 12 years, Dominguez has focused on fathers as director of male involvement for Parents In Community Action (PICA) Head Start. He shares ideas for luring in reluctant dads to embrace this essential role.
Q: Role-modeling is key to any parenting relationship. Please tell us about your father.
A: My dad came here with my mom from Mexico in the 1920s. He was always there for us, teaching us to be honest and respectful and to grow in a way that allowed us to develop into men. He also taught us how to work. He worked for a box company doing labor. He was still working up until age 82. He died at 84.
Q: One notable fact is that you're the 18th of 19 kids in your family. I figure your parents might have run out of parenting steam by then, but that seems far from the case.
A: Because I was among the youngest, my father guided me even more. He did outreach with other kids in the neighborhood. I learned from that.
Q: What appealed to you about PICA and its focus on dads?
A: I've seen the lack of male involvement and services for men. I wanted fathers to be involved with their children, to develop relationships with them, even if they sometimes didn't live at home. For fathers who don't believe they are able to be involved, I wanted to make sure the resources and opportunities were available so they could be more self-sufficient. Before COVID, we offered parent training in the classroom. We collaborate with many other fathers groups, including the Minnesota Fathers and Families Network, the Father Project, Dads First, MAD DADS, the Hue-man Partnership and the Festival of Fathers.
Q: What are some of the logistical and emotional barriers dads face?
A: A lot of these young fathers don't think they can be involved in the lives of their children, so we try to change their minds. Many are fathers in crisis, trying to stay sober, trying to change their lives. Other fathers are immigrant fathers and they don't know this is how it works here. We work with them one-on-one to make sure they're going in the right direction. We continuously try to build. Ours is a program where they can have trust and find out the real deal, find out who can help them.
Q: You like to bring in dads very early, before the baby even arrives. Why is that important?
A: You need to start early with dads. For example, we do a prenatal presentation at PICA on a monthly basis with speakers. We do this so fathers understand they should be involved and they can understand the moms a little better. Our fathers sometimes bring their little ones to the meetings and I like that. They don't want that child to be lost.
Q: Are they reluctant to show up for what may seem like a "mom" talk?
A: Many say, "I didn't think I could be asking questions about how this works and how to be more supportive." I say, "Hey, wait a minute. You do have a voice here and you'll be instrumental in the nourishment of that child."
Q: But you're not always sitting in circles or presenting via Zoom. Let's talk about fishing!
A: We have a hugely popular fishing outing the first Friday in June. One of our former supervisors, Todd Mitchell, loved to go fishing with fathers and their children. After he died, we thought we'd continue his legacy. Because of COVID-19, we've had to do a drive-through fishing event this year at two locations. Cars pulled up and we gave dads and their kids fishing poles, snacks, T-shirts and a father book. We hope that, on their own, they will go fishing.
Q: Fishing offers a great time to connect; is that why you picked this particular activity?
A: It's an opportunity for coming together with fathers and their children and to meet other fathers. A lot of relationships come out of that. Plus, it's really fun teaching them how to fish. Some of these fathers have never fished in their lives.
Q: How do you measure success?
A: Through fathers' self-sufficiency. They call me and say, "Hey, I really appreciate you. I really want to come back. You're giving us tools to move forward. I thought there was no way for us to work things out." Even the moms call me. They say, "Thank you for showing him the avenues here so he can get involved." Being a father? They love it. They really appreciate their kids and they want to know, "How do I grow with my child?" And they do grow. They become part of PICA's policy council, leaders and activists. Some even run for office. They're stepping up. You see fathers strolling down the streets with their children. We need as a community to invite fathers in, make them feel comfortable and wanted, to make sure they know, yes, there's a better way.
Q: How's grandfather-hood?
A: It is great! They range in age from 8 to 26. I spoil them and send them home.
