Any Minnesotan worth their weight in Purple paranoia comes armed with tortured tales of trapdoors lurking just around the bend.
Fall is nice, you say.
"Yeah, but we all know what's coming!"
Winter is almost over, you say.
"Yeah, but the mosquitoes are brutal! And the heat!"
Halloween, you say.
"I was here in Ninety-One. Storm of the Century! My power's still out. We all died."
Kirk Cousins has good stats, you say.
"Yeah, but he doesn't win!"
Kirk Cousins is winning, you say.
"Yeah, but have you seen his stats? Ten three-and-outs!? Terrible!"
Kicker, you say.
"Don't get me started on kickers!"
The Vikings are 5-1, you say.
"They'll never beat the Eagles."
Vikings fans love to complain. But, gosh love 'em, they never truly give up. Or let go. They are Charlie Brown trusting Lucy not to pull the ball away again while fully expecting her to do just that. Again.
R-E-L-A-X, people. The Vikings are rolling. They haven't been 5-1 or better while holding a two-game division lead over a .500 Packers team through six games since 2003.
What could possibly go wrong?
(Cue up Vikings radio voice Paul Allen's famous call from Sun Devil Stadium on the final play of the 2003 season …)
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Yes, things were great in 2003 when the Vikings were 6-0. Things were alarming when the Vikings were 6-4. Then things became tragic on the final play of the final game at Arizona. With no time on the clock, replay officials ruled that Cardinals receiver Nate Poole's 28-yard touchdown catch counted because Poole had been forced out of the end zone by safety Brian Russell.
That rule doesn't even exist anymore. Figures, a Minnesotan would say.
Cardinals win 18-17. Vikings fall to 9-7. Packers beat the Broncos 31-3 to finish 10-6 and win the division. Vikings season OV-er. Reporters looking for flights to Seattle for the playoff game were sent literally running after a crimson-faced Red McCombs to ask if he was going to fire Tice.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow," Red kept drawling through gritted teeth.
Can another collapse like that occur? Sure. But here are some reasons it feels unlikely:
A different coaching culture
Working for the penny-pinching McCombs, Tice probably got more out of fewer resources than any coach in team history. But Tice lost that 2003 team. He tried everything to get it back but only made matters worse. His emotions swayed all over the coaching spectrum. Players didn't know which Tice to expect from one practice to the next until it became a tired, weary team down the stretch.
Whereas Tice coached from his old-school gut, Kevin O'Connell, this year's rookie head coach, comes armed with better resources, a calmer new-school head, sports science technology and a sophisticated system that so far appears to have all the modern safeguards in place to keep players not only healthier but fresher.
Finding ways to win, not lose
Four of the five teams the Vikings have beaten this year were quarterbacked by: an aging backup Andy Dalton, a way-too-green Justin Fields, a stationary Jared Goff and the Miami backup combo of Skylar Thompson, a rookie who was injured, and Teddy Bridgewater, a guy who didn't practice all week.
Don't whine about the wins, people. In 2003, the four worst teams in the league were the Giants, Raiders, Chargers and Cardinals. Each finished 4-12. Each beat the Vikings.
Career underachiever Kerry Collins threw for 375 yards in the Giants game. The Raiders' Rick Mirer posted the second-highest passer rating (111.9) and second-to-last win of his disappointing career. Aging backup Doug Flutie ran for two touchdowns and passed for two more as a 41-year-old Charger. And way-too-green McCown was a second-year backup when he pulled off his upset.
Packers (probably) aren't as good
If the 2022 Vikings wobble a bit and lose consecutive games, which they will, do Aaron Rodgers and this year's Packers have the firepower to run them down in a two-team race like Brett Favre and the 2003 Packers did?
That's seeming more unlikely by the week.
When the Packers were 3-3 in 2003, they were averaging 29.3 points per game. This year's Packers are sputtering along at 17.8 per game. They've been held to 14 or fewer points three times, haven't topped 27 and were outclassed by the Vikings.
So, R-E-L-A-X, Vikings fans. Maybe this time there isn't a tale to be told about yet another trapdoor lurking around the bend.
Sound good, you ask?
"He must not be from here."
