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MILWAUKEE - Carlos Gomez isn't the world's fastest man, but if Monty Python was still staging the 100-meter dash for people with no sense of direction, Gomez would be the leading candidate to cross one of the finish lines first.
His stint starting in center field might soon end, which would lower Ron Gardenhire's blood pressure and the interest level of any Twins fan who cares about random entertainment as much as the final score.
"You scratch your head when the good things happen," Cuddyer said. "It's like, geez, how did anybody ever do that. And then other times you scratch your head ... for other reasons."
Denard Span should be back in the leadoff spot by Thursday. Jason Kubel should be back in the lineup today. Delmon Young has started making occasional solid contact. Cuddyer is -- wait, let me check -- still healthy.
All of which means Gomez, who went 3-for-5 in the Twins' 7-3 victory over Milwaukee on Tuesday, could be back on the bench soon. That would be a shame, because Gomez remains the Twins' most electrifying and confounding player, the one guy on their roster who can span the full range of entertainment possibilities.
Tuesday, he gave us drama, farce, thrills, melodrama and slapstick, all before the end of the third.
Gomez, notorious for his lack of patience and savvy in the batter's box, started the game with a five-pitch at-bat, flipping the fifth pitch into center for a single. That started a three-run rally.
In the second, Gomez saw six pitches, again blooping the last one into shallow right-center. Brewers center fielder Mike Cameron watched Gomez steam around first and stop.
As Cameron began to lob the ball to the second baseman, Gomez sprinted toward second. Cameron added some urgency to his throw, but second baseman Casey McGehee dropped it. Gomez had effectively stolen second base without waiting for the pitcher to get the ball.
"We always talk about putting pressure on the defense," Gardenhire said. "It's an instinctive play, and a good play by him."
When Brendan Harris singled to center, Gomez had truly created a run with his speed.
This being Gomez, there had to be melodrama, so after the inning ended, Gomez acted like a spent marathoner as he walked to his position in center, bending at the waist and gasping for air.
In the third, Gomez came up with the bases loaded and two outs. He saw four more pitches before nudging a two-run single over the glove of Brewers shortstop J.J. Hardy.
This being Gomez, there had to be comedy, so when Harris flied out to deep center to end the inning, Gomez was standing on first, tagging up as the Brewers left the field.
"Harry passed him," Gardenhire said. "So if that ball goes over the fence, it's not even a home run. Goodness."
Before the game, Gomez had a .219 batting average, one home run and a .279 on-base percentage. Those statistics would have made him a candidate for the worst leadoff hitter in big-league history if the Brewers hadn't countered with the persistently futile Jason Kendall and his .228 average, no homers, .269 slugging percentage and one steal.
Kendall stays in the bigs because he looks and acts like a catcher. Gomez stays in the big leagues because his talent, however poorly harnessed, is undeniable.
He might never be the player the Twins hoped they were getting when they traded Johan Santana for him and three nondescript pitchers, but it's hard not to root for a kid who cares so much, a kid who can hit a routine grounder to short and make you lean forward in your seat.
Or tag up at first with two outs, a brilliant ruse that flummoxed the Bumblin' Brewers.
"He gives us sparks," Gardenhire said. "Sometimes they're good sparks. And sometimes he tags up with two outs. Geez."
Jim Souhan can be heard Sundays from 10 a.m.-noon on AM-1500 KSTP. • jsouhan@startribune.com
