By temperament and training, Hal Barnes was the quintessential advertising guy: creative and competitive, hard-driving and award-winning. He defined himself by what he did.
So former colleagues might raise an eyebrow or two at what the long-retired ad executive is doing now.
The crusty curmudgeon, who admits he "never particularly liked kids," is now driving them around in four shifts a day as a bus driver for Safe-Way, a Wisconsin-based student transportation company.
His riders range in age from 5-year-old kindergartners to high school seniors. Barnes, 72, tells his friends he loves the job. An exchange between Barnes and 18-year-old Hudson High School senior Mary (Safe-Way prohibits using students' last names) suggests they like him, too.
"He's a nice guy," Mary said, "and a funny man."
"So why did you give up a job where you were making a lot of money?" Mary asked, knowing the answer.
"Because money isn't everything," Barnes said.
Barnes knows that Mary's favorite subject is physics, that she's got a four-year scholarship to a Jesuit college and that she's unafraid to march to her own drumbeat.
"She's going to rock the world," he said proudly.
On the other end of the age spectrum, 6-year-old Miles is already serving as Barnes' wing man and co-pilot. Miles knows most of the grade-school kids by name — and where they live — so he can help his bus driver when the computer balks. Barnes says Miles helped him survive the first three weeks on the route.
"That's what's so cool about this job," said Barnes. "You get to watch 'em grow up, especially the little ones. They get more inquisitive. They open up, get more confident."
Miles could hardly be more confident.
When this ride-along guest spilled a cup of coffee on the floor, Miles was quick to point it out, since the kids can't have open drinks on the bus. Miles wiped up the spill with paper towels and introduced the guest to the next five kids who got on a bus as "the coffee spiller."
Since Barnes is driving kids to school — not seniors to casinos — he expects some noise and a little trouble from time to time. On this morning run with youngsters, a buzzer went off, indicating someone tampered with the latch on the back door.
"Who did that?" he roared. Not me, not me, not me, came the replies. "There is no Not Me on this bus," Barnes snapped. The latch was quickly back in place.
Kim Johnson, the driver trainer for Safe-Way, said those who are shy or timid don't make good drivers. "Kids are always testing the boundaries," she explained, "and you gotta let them know what [those boundaries] are — and then enforce them."
For her, those boundaries are: Take a seat, stay there, be respectful and keep the noise down to a dull roar. The "don'ts" are equally straightforward: No horseplay, no hands out the windows and no swearing (at least, not excessively).
Barnes and his wife, Kathy, live in a townhouse in Hudson, Wis. They have no kids, three cats and a house full of art, books and music. Kathy is a dental hygienist and part-time yoga instructor.
Retired women and men, like Barnes, generally make good drivers, said Tom Stiles, owner of Safe-Way, a company his parents started 50 years ago; it now employs 60 drivers in Hudson, with contracts also in Somerset, Wis., South St. Paul, St. Paul and Inver Grove Heights. Some of those retired drivers are farmers, 3Mers, business people. There are even two preachers and a pilot.
"The older drivers," Stiles said, "have a great work ethic. They're confident and have the wisdom that comes with age. The flexible work hours fit into their lifestyles. And they have summers off."
(Stiles said his company is always looking for good drivers. The job pays $21.25 an hour, plus more than an occasional "thank you" from the young riders.)
Over the summer, Barnes will savor those "thanks," prowl the Wisconsin countryside with his wife, fish a few Minnesota lakes and climb back on the bus in September. He's planning his summer around it.
Linda Waggoner, of Hudson, has been driving for Safe-Way for four years. The flexible schedule suits her.
"After dropping the kids off," she said," I can come home and put a meal in the crock pot. And the elementary-school kids always leave me feeling happier."
It's happier for all the drivers when they get the bus back to the barn at the end of the day, having delivered the kids safely home. Drivers get one last reminder on the door as they walk into the office to punch time cards:
"Check for Sleepers After Each Route."
Dave Nimmer's decades-long career in media includes work at the Minnesota Star and WCCO, in addition to teaching journalism at the University of St. Thomas. He recently penned a new collection of essays titled, "The Home Stretch: North of 80 — One Step at a Time." Now retired, he lives in Oakdale.
