Welcome to the (belated) Thursday edition of The Cooler, where I have so much to show you. Let’s get to it:
*I had a lot of fun stuff lined up for the morning, but then I started writing about soccer and the good old days and next thing I knew the post was getting long and I didn’t want to stuff everything else underneath it. So here are a bunch of random tidbits I’ve been saving up over the last day:
Awful Announcing is back with its annual question: How would you rank the local broadcast crews for all 30 MLB teams?
The Twins have a bit of a tricky entry because while Dick Bremer handles pretty much every inning of every game as the play-by-play voice, the analyst work is spread evenly between every former player in Twins history.
Voters generally seem happy, though, with the Twins’ drew. The most common grade is “B,” and almost 80 percent of voters give Bremer and Co. a passing grade of C or better.
*Trevor May’s dad thought the Twins pitcher really got a plaque for throwing 100 mph, which is the greatest thing ever.
*Speaking of Twitter, the profile of new Twins pitcher Randy Dobnak says he has a 4.99 (out of 5) driver rating on Uber.
*The Gophers football team showcased a bunch of new food items that will be available at TCF Bank Stadium this year. There was a very solid selection of specialty hot dogs and brats, but what really caught my eye were two items specifically linked to P.J. Fleck’s favorite expressions.
(By the way, you all know about elite. Did you remember that HYPPR stands for How Yours Process Result Response? Because it does, though I have no idea how to really punctuate or process it. Maybe it’s better as an acronym?)
*Clemson coach Dabo Swinney won’t give a championship ring to QB Kelly Bryant, who won four games for the Tigers but transferred midseason. “He wasn’t on the team. You’ve gotta be on the team to get a ring,” Swinney told ESPN. “I love Kelly and appreciate what he did for us, but he decided to move on.”
*I love this dunk. It’s maybe not a 360? But I’m not going to dwell too long on the “well, actually” part of this slam by Jalen Suggs. It’s 10 times better than anything most of us could do on a 7-foot hoop, let alone a regulation bucket.