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Readers speak! Read on for good suggestions about managing control needs, dress code violations, and effective communication. Plus, a rebuke to the uncivil.
First, a reader's leadership manifesto to control freaks (Nov. 8): "[Regarding your team:] Let them be wrong. Let them learn, let them try, let them understand where they need to be better, let them grow and feel proud they grew. It's OK to monitor progress so there is time for fixes rather than find the project failed on the due date. It's OK to schedule more time than you would have taken. You are trying to improve your team. Don't expect perfection but expect lessons will be learned -- sometimes painfully. You and the group are better off with a strong team than an obedient team."
Another suggests that deeper work may be in order: "Some people can work directly on this issue; others find they need to be a little more aware of what underlies this behavior. Collaborating with a therapist may help you move forward more quickly and easily than on your own."
When it comes to dealing with dress code issues (Nov. 1), one reader shared an experience in which the direct approach resolved the issue: "I have worked in three manufacturing organizations where the dress code became the center of attention. Generally, it was prompted by cleavage. Someone finally said, no cleavage. The rule was easy."
Another reader recommended caution about singling one person out, instead suggesting, "Arrange for a department meeting of all employees. Be prepared to address all related dressing codes regarding both sexes if there are men also in your area. In this way, you won't be causing anyone hurt feelings, or embarrassment, which potentially could put this one employee on the defensive, and cause problems later working with her."
While I agree that these issues can be sensitive, I still think that a respectful and polite private chat can accomplish a great deal.
As far as increasing ability to influence others (Oct. 18), a reader cited communication skills as a hurdle, noting that "I finally got some advice on how I could express myself better. I ask more questions instead of making statements. Instead of 'I'd like to see it done this way,' I say, 'is it possible that we could do X?' or 'What do you think about trying this idea?' That gets a dialogue going, at least."
This is a good way to build buy-in, as long as it doesn't go so far that others question your expertise and confidence.
Finally, in response to an off-topic political comment on a column about coworker anger (Aug. 30), a reader pushed back, observing that: "Maybe she's angry because strangers online label people and stereotype them based on gross assumptions of an entire group and she's not being treated like an individual. It's amazing how disgusting random online posts can ruin a day."
Everyone, please take this to heart, offer substantive criticisms, but skip the rants!
I'll close with true confessions of a technological kind. I had a recent computer crash and lost my e-mails. If you've written and I haven't replied, accept my apologies, and please resend your note. Many thanks.
