CRAIG'S LIST
Just when you think you know the Cowboys and the Webster's Online Dictionary version of the word "no," along come the Washington Redskins and Tony Wyllie, their senior VP of communications.
First, Colt McCoy climbs out of his Halloween storage box in Dan Snyder's basement and stops the Cowboys' six-game winning streak right under Jerry Jones' new nose. Then he tries to stop and talk about it with ESPN Deportes before being put back on the storage shelf next to the stack of insensitivity training handbooks.
But along comes Wyllie with a definition for "no" that's 254 words shorter and a lot grouchier than the ones Webster uses to help explain the word. After breaking things up and whisking McCoy back into Robert Griffin III's shadow, Wyllie turned and delivered his exclamation point, which became a popular Internet video clip of him yelling, "NO MEANS NO!"
Wyllie later explained that McCoy needed to attend Jay Gruden's postgame speech. ESPN later explained that it thought "no" meant "there are no more human beings with full heads of hair left on earth to hire."
Here are some other possible interpretations of the word "no":
WAS +2½ at MIN
Vikings 17, Redskins 10
In Minneapolis, when it comes to stadiums, "No" means "no, no, maybe, probably," and "OK, OK, OK. We'll pay! Ouch, Mr. Goodell, you're hurting my arm!"
SD +2½ at MIA
Chargers by 7
In Miami, "No" means never having to say you're sorry after a victory. Unless it was Jacksonville.
JAX +11 at CIN
Bengals by 3
In Jacksonville, "No" is executive VP in charge of printing playoff tickets.
TB +6½ at CLE
Browns by 3
In Cleveland, "No" is what you say when asked, "Were you alive the last time Cleveland won anything?"
STL +10 at SF
49ers by 14
Here, "No" is what you say when asked, "Were you alive when this was a big game?"
PHI -2 at HOU
Texans by 3
For Philly's O-line, "No" means squat to J.J. Watt.
NYJ +9½ at KC
Chiefs by 3
In New York, "No" means "Yes, Rex is toast and wouldn't a Percy Harvin-Brad Childress reunion be awesome?"
ARI +4 at DAL
Cardinals by 3
In Dallas, "No" is French for "Oui, oui, you broke your surgically-repaired back. Now get back in there. We're losing to the Redskins."
OAK +15 at SEA
Seahawks by 10
In Seattle, "No" means "Pack your bags and have fun in New York."
BAL -1 at PIT
Ravens by 7
In Week 2, "No" was the answer to the question, "Are the Ravens too distracted by Ray Rice's left hook to smash the Steelers 26-9?"
IND -3½ at NYG
Giants by 7
In New York, "No" is what you say when asked if you have any idea what the Giants will do.
UPSET SPECIAL
DEN -3 at NE
Patriots 38, Broncos 28
In New England, "No" is what you say when asked if sportswriters who write off the Patriots in September have anything but sh…aving cream for brains.
Record
Last week/overall: 10-4/ 69-43-1
Versus spread: 10-4/ 58-55
Vikings picks: 5-3
Upset special picks: 2-6