Two of my favorite sections of a bookstore are career development (human capital) and dog breeds (canine capital). These dual interests have led me to develop a canine-inspired hiring template that includes workplace breeds to avoid.
Among employees:
Brilliant border collie. "I want the smartest dog," you say. But do you own a flock of sheep? If he spends his days lying around the house, he is more likely to use that intelligence to excavate the couch. No organization seeks to hire mediocrities, but workers' abilities and ambitions should broadly match their roles, or disruption will occur.
Obsessive basset hound. Basset hounds never lose the scent and will stubbornly follow the trail. The workplace equivalent is the artistic professional, whether business analyst or marketer, who obsesses over elegance in the craft to the detriment of utility. Reliable sources tell me this is also an occupational hazard for journalists.
Bored borzoi. Borzoi are Russian wolfhounds, bred for many centuries to hunt, and are happiest when running all day. Many professionals have years of specialized training. Some will feel underutilized or unfulfilled if not working within that field. Bottom line: Boredom results for the borzoi with nothing to chase, or the actuary with nothing to count.
Among managers:
Lone wolf. Some breeds were not cultivated to have an emotional connection with people, as their job was to be an isolated herder. Similarly, avoid managers with low "emotional IQ." They might have been effective as individual contributors based on their functional skills. But if they lack empathy, they are unlikely to manage or mentor people effectively.
Wolf in sheep's clothing. The Bedlington terrier looks remarkably like a lamb, but is actually a snarly, aggressive terrier bred to hunt vermin. A boss or employee with passive-aggressive or manic-depressive tendencies will make your life miserable, however charming the exterior persona.
Inbred blue blood. Some breeds have been inbred to the point of no return. The resulting purebred is classy and dumb, with a strong sense of entitlement. This chum will not be a very responsive companion — and could end up taking credit for others' work.
Isaac Cheifetz, a Twin Cities executive recruiter, can be reached through catalytic1.com.
