After reading the Feb. 15 commentary offering advice about next year’s Minneapolis Super Bowl (“Note to halftime planners: It’s still Prince”), I heartily agree. Of course, who else could it be for halftime?
But knowing how much the various Super Bowl boosters want this event to be more than just a football game, more than a great halftime show, I hereby propose that the shakers and movers planning this mega happening waste no time in doing something that will show the world we Minnesotans know how to think really big: inviting our president, Donald J. Trump, to toss the coin before the opening kickoff.
Yes, and under special arrangement with NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, the president would get to keep the coin, replicate it and sell it.
During the game itself, the president may want to share his presidential suite with Michele Kelm-Helgen and Ted Mondale, expressing both his sympathy for unfairly ousted poltical appointees everywhere — and his constant eagerness to reach across the aisle with the tortilla chips (made in America, of course).
You may think I am kidding — or even mocking our new president. But I am dead serious.
In fact, now is the time for President Trump to be invited, not only to toss the coin but also, following negotiations of course, to announce that he has agreed to build a Trump Hotel and Office Center above U.S. Bank Stadium!
If that doesn’t put Minneapolis on the map for tourism and pace-setting economic growth, nothing ever will.
Now, I know there are a few cynics and kvetchers out there who may scoff at this idea, who feel Mr. Trump may not be up to the challenges of being president and therefore does not deserve to be part of our Super Bowl.
President Eisenhower had a name for such people: “Gloomdogglers.”
For goodness sake, let’s give Trump a chance. Right now, he is in the spring training phase of his presidency. He’s getting ready for the first four years, to be followed by a second four years.
Didn’t all of us go through some form of on-the-job training at some point in our lives? That’s what’s happening with Trump right now. By next Feb. 4 — Super Sunday, 2018 — he will be riding tall in the saddle.
So, in all sincerity and urgency, I implore the Super Bowl 2018 planners, including the Wilf Brothers, to arrange a secret visit for the president to get the lay of our land here, since he saw so little of our state during the campaign. At that time, apologies can be extended for Minnesotans favoring what’s-her-name in the presidential election.
In addition, local firms will help other entrepreneurial members of the Trump family establish themselves in downtown Minneapolis. And it should go without saying that Minnesota taxpayers will pick up the tab for transportation, lodging, and parties for all members of the Trump family plus his staff.
Finally, although the term “public option” usually raises hackles with Trump, who is always thinking of improving our medical coverage, the public option I am thinking of is you, dear reader.
Let the people take my idea and transmit it ASAP, by every means of communication possible, to our president and tell him we Minnesotans like him enough to put him on the same program as Prince.
Just remember, folks, you read it here first.
Willard B. Shapira lives in Roseville.