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A wild cat that was captured in Cincinnati tested positive for exposure to cocaine, NPR reported. In events only recently made public, a big cat named Amiry escaped from its owner's car during a police stop in January. Soon after, police started getting calls about a possible leopard in a tree. Responders retrieved Amiry, brought him to a shelter and called in an expert. Per NPR, "The expert suspected Amiry was actually a serval: a long-legged, big-eared wild cat that is native to sub-Saharan Africa and illegal to own in Ohio." A DNA test confirmed that hunch — and also found narcotics in the cat's system. Amiry is currently living at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden. Meanwhile, police are waiting for Amiry's former owner to explain where and how the cat came into contact with cocaine.

He got his money's worth

Donald Matthew Santacroce, 65, really wants to go to federal prison. To that end, on March 6, he entered a Wells Fargo bank in Salt Lake City and handed the teller a note: "Please pardon me for doing this but this is a robbery. Please give me $1. Thank you." According to KSL-TV, the teller handed over a dollar, and then Santacroce sat down in the lobby and waited for police to arrive. The arrest report noted that Santacroce said that "if he gets out of jail, he will rob another bank and ask for more money next time" so that he'll be sent to a federal prison.

A cuticle emergency

If you crashed your car into a building, what would you do? Maybe call emergency services? See if anyone was hurt? We're betting you wouldn't answer with "get a manicure next door to the place I just destroyed," but that's what an Ontario woman did earlier this month. Per CTV News Toronto, which obtained security footage of the incident, a Jeep plowed into the storefront of Guilty Pleasurez Dezzert Cafe on March 3, shattering windows. Thankfully, the bakery — owned by siblings Tanvir and Simran Bawa — was not yet open for the day, and no one was inside. Simran Bawa learned about the crash in a phone call from a worker at KC's Nails and Beauty Shoppe, the nail salon next door to Guilty Pleasurez. The employee told Bawa that the driver was inside KC's, getting her nails done. Tanvir told CTV that he spoke to the driver "and she's just giggling." Simran said the bakery had sustained "serious structural damage," but has managed to stay open for the time being. In what might qualify as the understatement of the month, Simran said, "It's not been the most pleasant time."

Lookin' for love

Robert Siegfried, 43, of Janesville, Wis., was tired of dating apps and decided to try a new tactic, reports WISC-TV. He took out a billboard featuring a photo of himself; next to that are the all-caps words "DATE ROBERT," followed by "Wisconsin's #1 Eligible Bachelor." The sign states that Robert is "looking for a local, honest woman." Said lucky lady can reach him at the number plastered on the billboard.

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