Please enjoy a pipin' hot bowl of Stu and his Hunt Down:
Name: Jose Offerman
Claim to Fame, Minnesota: a member of your 2004 AL Central Champion Minnesota Twins. This being the Twins, they needed a DH who was five years past his sell-by date and couldn't hit for power. Offerman filled that role to perfection, blasting two home runs in 77 games. He did lead the league in pinch-hitting, though. Yay!
Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: until last week, was probably best known for charging the mound, bat in hand, while a member of the Long Island Ducks in 2007. Torii Hunter, beloved former Twin and teammate of Offerman's, did not see that coming:
"I don't know what to say…(h)e never had a temper. He was the nicest guy. When I heard about it, I couldn't believe that." Offerman was arrested for assault after the game, and was eventually given two years probation. The court noted that Offerman was "not likely to offend again in the future."
It is not known if the court had its fingers crossed when it said that, but as you no doubt have seen, Offerman recently made headlines by trying to punch-a-cize umpire Daniel Rayburn's face for free. He has now been suspended for life from the Dominican Winter Baseball League.
Where He Is Now: probably on SportsCenter right now, challenging an entire orphanage to a chainsaw fight.
Sad Randomness: John Nathans, one of the players Offerman allegedly struck in his 2007 meltdown, now suffers from some nasty post-concussion symptoms and is suing Offerman and the Long Island Ducks.
Glorious Randomness: if you want to know more about the Ducks' mascot, QuackerJack, click here. The writer was apparently paid by the pun.