Dear Amy: My family has lived in the same neighborhood for 25 years. We've never had any issues — until now.
Our next-door neighbor has started a day care in her home. The problem is that she doesn't supervise the children when they are outside. They are in the street, our front yard, other neighbors' yards, our driveways, etc.
I can live with that. What I can't live with is when they are in the backyard, they harass our two dogs. The kids shoot Nerf bullets at them, poke sticks through the fence, stand close to the fence and yell at and tease them by putting their hands through the fence, etc.
I have asked her to please watch them when they are in the backyard, but she doesn't.
The dogs are in the house 90% of the time, but when the kids are outside screaming, the dogs hear them and go out through the dog door to investigate.
I have documented each time there is an issue and even recorded the kids bothering our dogs. We are installing a camera system.
Besides being upset about the dogs getting riled up, I am scared that eventually a child will get hurt. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this besides increasing our liability insurance?
Amy says: What you describe is an extremely unsafe environment for young children. A child eventually will get hurt.
I understand that you are primarily worried about children in the backyard, harassing your dogs. But unsupervised young children also in your front yard? Not good. Unsupervised young children in your neighbors' yards? Not good.
Unsupervised children in the street? Extremely not good.
Every time you see these children shooting projectiles at your dogs, you should go outside, tell them to stop it and explain that they are hurting the dogs, even if they don't mean to.
Every time you see children in your front yard or the street, you should call the day care proprietor and tell her that children are on your property and you are concerned for their safety.
If you see unsupervised young children in the street, you should immediately do what you can to see to their safety. Consider calling the police. And then you should report this unsafe day care business to the agency in your area that is in charge of regulating and investigating child care businesses.
You are obviously intimidated by your neighbor (imagine how these children feel about her). I suggest that you stiffen your backbone and take all appropriate steps to force her to comply with safety standards.
Keeping abreast of trends
Dear Amy: My niece just had a baby girl. I'm a proud great-uncle.
But the first picture that my brother posted was of his daughter breastfeeding the baby. This is the first time I have ever seen this.
Is this commonplace now? Or has it ever been? My fiancée is as dumbfounded as I am!
Amy says: Breastfeeding has been "commonplace" ever since babies have been in need of nourishment.
People are now sharing photos of women feeding their babies, and so this has become commonplace, too. Some moms are posting "brelfies" (breastfeeding selfies) to social media.
The decision to share or keep breastfeeding private should be a parent's prerogative. Women feeding babies should not be seen as an embarrassing, shameful or dumbfounding thing. (Would you have objected to the photo if your niece was bottle-feeding her baby?)
As witnessing breastfeeding becomes culturally normalized, you could consider yourself at the vanguard of a trend: You saw a photo of a mother feeding her child, and survived.
Send questions to Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.
