So, blow it out your Helga Horns, haters.
The Upset Special — make that the 2-0 and Still Undefeated Upset Special — held up because Greg Zuerlein's leg was stronger than Mike McCarthy's brain.
How about the Panthers upsetting the Saints? Nailed it.
The Lock of the Week (Bucs over Falcons)? You betcha.
Lamar Jackson beating Patrick Mahomes? Um, we can't talk about that one.
This week, the NFL features one game between 2-0 teams. Unfortunately for Vikings fans and Minnesota media, they'll be watching the Purple play Seattle while everyone else watches the Bucs at the Rams.
Three games feature matchups between 1-1 division rivals — Cincinnati at Pittsburgh, the Chargers at Kansas City and the Monday nighter, Eagles at Cowboys.
Last week, there were seven road favorites. Five of them won outright. Four covered.
This week, there are only three road favorites. Two of them are easy picks — Baltimore at Detroit and Arizona at Urban Meyer's USC Layover locale.
The other one is Seattle at the Vikings. Seems logical since Russell Wilson literally never, ever, never loses to the Vikings.
By gosh, it's so logical, the Vikings are this week's Upset Special pick.
- UPDATED ODDS: Point spreads, money lines, over/under
Here's a look at this week's games:
Colts (+5) at Titans: Titans by 3
Home losses to Seattle and the Rams followed by a three-game road trip to Tennessee, Miami and Baltimore. Bye-bye, Indy.
Falcons (+3) at Giants: Giants by 4
Daniel Jones looked pretty good last week. The Falcons can't score, can't stop anyone and can't protect Matt Ryan. Other than that …
Chargers (+6½) at Chiefs: Chiefs by 10
Only twice has Patrick Mahomes lost back-to-back NFL games. He won't make it three this week.
Bengals (+3) at Steelers: Steelers by 3
Joe Burrow is being sacked on a league-high 15.8% of his dropbacks.
Bears (+7) at Browns: Browns by 3
This will be closer than the point spread indicates, but the Browns' O-line will control the game and overshadow Justin Fields' starting debut.
Ravens (-8) at Lions: Ravens by 14
The Lions are getting better. It just won't show up in wins this year.
Saints (+3) at Patriots: Patriots by 7
Thanks to Bill Belichick, Sean Payton's victory lap for fixing Jameis Winston hits another banana peel.
Cardinals (-7½) at Jacksonville: Cardinals by 14
The Chicago Cardinals lost a record 29 straight games from 1942-43. An 0-15 start by Jacksonville would break that record. Seems doable.
Washington (+7½) at Bills: Bills by 7
In a battle of former Vikings on a one-week roll, Bills defensive coordinator Leslie Frazier gets the best Washington QB Taylor Heinicke.
Jets (+10) at Broncos: Broncos by 14
A person can go a long way in a 2021 Survivor Pool by taking whichever team plays Zach Wilson.
Dolphins (+4) at Raiders: Raiders by 7
The Raiders go to 3-0 for the first time since they last reached the Super Bowl in 2002.
Buccaneers (-1½) at Rams: Rams by 7
Two guarantees: Aaron Donald and the Rams' interior pass rush will make Tom Brady look bad, or at least human; and attention seekers in the media will rush to be the first loudmouth to say it means Brady is washed up.
Packers (+3½) at 49ers: 49ers by 7
Green Bay goes to the West Coast for a Sunday night game on a short week. And, oh yeah, it's bringing along a defense that made the Lions look good for way too long on Monday night.
Eagles (+4) at Cowboys: Eagles by 1
If the TV suits keep force feeding us the Cowboys on "Monday Night Football," the least Dallas can do is have a third straight game decided on a last-second field goal.
Seahawks (-1½) at Vikings: Vikings 33, Seahawks 30
Yeah, yeah. Wilson is 7-0 against the Vikings, including the Blair Walsh playoff fiasco in sub-zero temps at TCF Bank Stadium in January 2016. Yes, the Seahawks are 1-0 on the road, opening with an impressive win at Indianapolis. The urge is to pick the annual Purple loss to Wilson, but the Vikings will play a clean game offensively, like they did against the Cardinals, and the defense will benefit immensely from the first home game with fans since the 2019 season. Greg Joseph will even rebound from last week's game-losing miss by making a game-winning kick late. Yes, someone just predicted the Vikings will beat Seattle with a late field goal.
Last week's Upset Special: Cowboys (+3) 34, Chargers 31. Actual score: Cowboys 20, Chargers 17. Record: 2-0.
Last week's record straight up/against the spread: 13-3/10-6.
Season record straight up/against the spread: 21-11/18-14.
Vikings picks straight up/against the spread: 1-1/0-2.