Q: On social media, a number of friends have posted about receiving the coronavirus vaccine. Is it rude to ask how they qualified to get appointments?
A: Depending on your relationship, you certainly can ask where they are in the process or what the process is for getting an appointment, so you know what to expect. But directly asking how they got an appointment puts them on the spot and sounds a bit accusatory.
You also can frame it as wanting to know what to expect when it's your turn to get vaccinated, something like, "I'm not sure what to expect. Can you please enlighten me? How did it go? What happened afterward?"
It's best to ask only close friends about the process of getting a coronavirus vaccine because you never know if someone has underlying health conditions you're unaware of or they've chosen not to receive the vaccine.
Julie Blais Comeau, chief etiquette officer at Etiquette Julie
A: Assess the closeness of the friendship. If they are close friends, nine times out of 10, you perhaps already know how they qualified for an appointment. If not, then you're inquiring about their medical history or any pre-existing conditions they might not want to share.
Because they are posting about receiving the vaccine, it is OK to ask how they went about booking an appointment, any appointment openings they might be privy to and what they're overall experience was at a vaccine site.
There's a difference between general information-gathering and personal information gathering in the context of a friendship. Again, with close friends, this personal information comes up organically. With acquaintances and more peripheral friends, let's keep it to more general information-gathering.
Terrence Chappell, principal, Chappell Communications Group
