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Dear Amy: My parents were absentee grandparents, despite my longing for more.

On several occasions, I tearfully asked my mother why they ultimately favored my sibling's children over my own. The answer I got implied that my folks had provided some financial assistance to my sibling, and that because of that, the kids were entitled to special grandparent treatment.

My parents basically said that I don't have a right to tell them what to do or not to do. I didn't like that answer, but I respected it.

Now they are retired and broke. My mom has more than hinted on several occasions that she plans to move in with me if my dad passes away before her.

Why does she feel entitled? Should I feel obligated to help? Why would this responsibility fall solely on me? I feel like telling her that she cannot tell me what I can or cannot do in much the same way they told me.

Amy says: You seem to be the only person to have actually asked a family member a direct question: "Why do you favor my sibling's children?" The answer you got — "You can't tell me what to do" — isn't an answer. It's an unrelated statement.

I congratulate you for having full use of your voice, and I suggest that you continue to use it in a clear and authentic way to state your intentions and explain how you feel.

Yes, your mother is entitled — entitled to her opinion, and not much beyond that. If you don't want her to live with you, then tell her so: "Mom, you're going to have to look for other housing, because I am not willing to have you move in with me." You could be helpful by researching low-income elder housing in your area.

Relationships in your family seem to be transactional. If that is the case, then you definitely don't owe your parents anything, because — according to you — you haven't received the thing you wanted the most from them: their attention.

No thanks

Dear Amy: We attended a wedding nine months ago and still have not received a thank you note for the generous gift we gave to the couple.

This was a three-day weekend affair that required travel, multiple outfits and, of course, a very nice wedding gift.

The couple have offered multiple excuses for why they haven't sent their thank-yous (their wedding photos coming back, holiday cards, etc.). Adding to their excuses, every week they post a "Wedding Wednesday" flashback to social media where they share pictures, stories, hints and tips about curating the perfect wedding — yet, no thank-you!

The bride's sister is getting married next year, and we are wondering if the same scenario is going to repeat itself! Have times changed? Did I miss the memo?

Amy says: The frustration of not being thanked properly is one of the most frequent problems readers present.

But times have indeed changed. It is no longer necessary to sit down and write notes on creamy monogrammed stationery. Technology has made thanking people so much easier. Married couples can text people a personal thank-you video, write a thoughtful email, call, message, or send a postcard.

This couple seem particularly brazen. Sharing their "Wedding Wednesdays" rubs their guests' noses in their rudeness.

You could be equally brazen. You could post a note saying: "We love your 'Wedding Wednesdays.' Maybe you should host a 'Thank you Thursday' where you teach people how to curate the perfect 'thank you' moment!"

Amy Dickinson is stepping down at the end the month and will be replaced by R. Eric Thomas. Send him questions at