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Dear Amy: My husband of two years has recently become interested in exploring Christianity.

He went to church as a child, but stopped going when he was a teen. He is now concerned about what will happen after he dies and says he wants to find "peace."

I have no interest in going with him. I am not a believer and to be honest, I don't feel comfortable participating in organized religion.

Do I need to be a part of this? I feel like I will hate every minute of it and become resentful. But if I don't go, will it ruin our marriage?

Amy says: Your marriage should not be contingent on you forcing yourself to worship alongside your husband. I do suggest that you remain open to hearing about his experience, and perhaps attend special holiday services if he seems eager to share them with you.

The churchgoing experience will bring your husband into a belief system, as well as a new social system. Anytime anyone forms new relationships, it could place a strain on the marriage — but the alternative (shadowing him out of fear that the marriage will be threatened) is a non-starter.

If he dives in and starts attending Bible study and joins church-centered social groups, you will discover that church activities are very time-consuming. This might negatively affect your relationship, but his faith practice could also lead him to a more loving, compassionate, and yes, peaceful, place.

Revoke flower privileges

Dear Amy: My neighbor picks flowers off our trees/plants in the front yard.

The first time we caught her doing this, she told us she uses them for prayer and asked if it was OK.

This is becoming a daily routine. We hardly have any flowers left.

Today, I came out to find a whole branch missing off my plumeria tree.

When asked about it she replied, "I picked a flower, and the branch broke off." Those branches are very sturdy, the flowers need no force when picked, which makes me believe she did it on purpose.

I'm getting fed up but feel uncomfortable saying something since she uses the flowers for prayer. What should I do?

Amy says: This may seem like a benign activity to the person doing it, but taking flowers from private property is theft. You gave her permission, and now you are going to have to withdraw it.

Many religions use flowers as part of prayer ceremonies, but maybe you also want to use these blooms for your own kind of worship. My point is that your neighbor's use of these blooms is not nobler than yours.

Perhaps you could take her a potted geranium (their blooms tend to regrow quickly when plucked). Tell her, "Here is a plant for you as a gift from us. Do not take any more blooms from our yard. You do NOT have permission to do this anymore."

There is no need to explain further.

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