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This might be the first installment of Stu's Hunt Down that doesn't actually include any new information about a former athlete's whereabouts. But Stu cleared it with us, and his Packer bashing probably makes up for it. Stu? ---------------------------

The Hunt Down

Name: Mossy Cade Claim to Fame, Minnesota: the Vikings signed the defensive back as a free agent in 1988, but cut him three days later due to public outrage over the signing. Claim to Fame, Everywhere Else: Arguably the player most identified in the public mind with the Green Bay Packers, Cade played defensive back for the franchise in 1985 and 1986. When he wasn't playing, he was being convicted of sexually assaulting his aunt. New feature! The Packer Miscreant Power Rankings: although the Vikings get all the publicity for their Love Boats and leadfoots and powerful gun-arms, the plucky, publicly-owned smalltown heroes of have filled up police blotters from Ashwaubenon to Appleton. Where does Mossy Cade rank? That's what the PMPR is for:

  1. Mossy Cade. You read what he did, right?
  2. Johnny Jolly. A surprise at #2, but getting SportsCenter anchors to say things like "Purple Drank" and "Sizzurp" carries substantial weight.
  3. Mark Chmura. A reminder that he was found not guilty of any hot tub-related mischief (or "child enticement and third-degree sexual assault," if you'd prefer) with his babysitter.
  4. James Lofton. He was acquitted of sexual assault at the same time Cade was being convicted in the same Green Bay courthouse. For real.
  5. Paul Hornung. Suspended the entire 1963 season for gambling on NFL games and "associating with undesirable persons."

Packer-for-life Brett Favre didn't even make it. I'm as surprised as you are. Where He Is Now: Exhaustive internet searches have returned no information on his current whereabouts. There was a moment of hope when I found an article about Phoenix landscaper Jeff "Mossy" Cade, but he is not him. (Also: please consider a different nickname, Mr. Cade.) Is He on Twitter: no. It's almost like he was convicted of a horrible crime and wanted to maintain a very low profile afterwards. Glorious Randomness: as of 2007, Cade still held the Arizona state high school record in the 110 high hurdles at 13.69 seconds.