Two words into my All-Star Super Bowl team summary and even I want to punch myself.
Craig! You moron! You benched Joe Montana? Joe Cool? The quarterback you said would always be the best? And might still be the best?
Um, yeah. Sorry, but my hands and "Get off my lawn!" biases are tied. Tom Brady won't stop winning Lombardi trophies.
Yes, Joe essentially was perfect in four Super Bowls. Went 4-0 with 11 touchdowns, no interceptions, a 127.8 passer rating and three MVPs. But Tom's got five wins in seven tries with swing No. 8 coming Sunday at U.S. Bank Stadium. And, remember, he'll be, um, "only" 41 next year.
The fact Montana is a backup on this team tells you how hard it was to pick an all-star team of the greatest stars to play in the grandest game the past 51 seasons.
I picked 11 offensive players, 11 defensive, a kicker, punter, returner, nickel back and coach. Eighteen of the 26 picks are in the Pro Football Hall of Fame and four more will join them, including Ray Lewis on Saturday.
Offensively, there are two running backs, two receivers and a tight end. Defensively, I picked a 4-3 alignment, but have two inside 'backers (Lewis and Mike Singletary) that could be paired with Lawrence Taylor and Charles Haley to make one heck of a 3-4 linebacking crew.
There are two Packers from the Team of the '60s, three Steelers from the Team of the '70s, three 49ers from the Team of the '80s, three Cowboys from the Team of the '90s and four Patriots from the Team of the Millennium.
I got an '85 Bear, a Washington Hog, the original LT, the only Hall of Fame punter, two Whites named Randy and Reggie, and a head coach with five golden rings.
And to keep up with the times, we even have Steelers Hall of Famer Mel Blount ready to go as a nickel back.
Everyone on this list won at least one Super Bowl (Sorry, Vikings fans). The only problem: How in the world do I fit these guys under the salary cap?
COACH
Bill Belichick
Coach • New EnglandWho better to lead the fellas than the man who will be coaching in his 11th Super Bowl on Sunday at U.S. Bank Stadium? Belichick has seven rings — five as a head coach.OFFENSE
12Tom Brady
QB • New EnglandFor the second time in 13 years, he's trying to win a third Super Bowl in four years. His record fourth Super Bowl MVP came in his record fifth win a year ago when he passed for a record 466 yards in the biggest comeback in the game's history. What can he do for an encore? Win league MVP on Saturday night and Super Bowl title No. 6 at age 40 on Sunday.
22Emmitt Smith
RB • DallasThe engine that drove the Cowboys to three titles. Famously carried them on a 74-yard drive to erase a 13-6 halftime deficit en route to a 30-13 rout of Buffalo in Super Bowl XXVIII.
30Terrell Davis
RB • DenverHe went 7-1 in postseason games, scored 12 TDs and averaged 142.5 yards rushing. Super Bowl XXXII MVP who gave John Elway the balance he needed to retire as a back-to-back champ.
80Jerry Rice
WR • S.F., Oak.The G.O.A.T. went 3-1 with an MVP. Holds records for receiving yards in a game (215) and a career (589), and touchdowns in a game (three, twice) and a career (eight).
88Lynn Swann
WR • PittsburghSwann played nine years and never had a 1,000-yard season. Yet he's in the Hall of Fame. Why? He averaged 22.7 yards per catch while going 4-0 with one MVP in Super Bowls.
84Jay Novacek
TE • DallasHe isn't a Hall of Famer or one of the famed "Triplets," but he did go to five straight Pro Bowls while catching 17 balls and two touchdowns in three Super Bowl wins.
55Jon Kolb
LT • PittsburghUnderrated player on the Team of the '70s. Was the only O-lineman to start all four Super Bowl wins. Protected Terry Bradshaw's blind side and opened holes for Franco Harris.
68Russ Grimm
LG • WashingtonOne of the famed Hogs that went 3-1 in Super Bowls. Helped John Riggins rush for 166 yards in Super Bowl XVII. Blocked when Timmy Smith went for a record 202 in Super Bowl XXII.
62Jim Langer
C • MiamiThe Little Falls, Minn., native helped Miami rush for 449 yards in back-to-back Super Bowl wins for the undefeated 1972 team and the '73 team that bludgeoned the Vikings.
63Joe Andruzzi
RG • New EnglandJoe's not a Hall of Famer, but Brady and Belichick didn't win all these Super Bowls by themselves. Andruzzi started on the first three winners, teams that rushed for 372 yards.
75Forrest Gregg
RT • G.B., DallasWhen the Packers went "Sweep Right," he paved the way. Went 3-0 in Super Bowls and was on seven title teams. Vince Lombardi called him the "best player" he ever coached.DEFENSE
94Charles Haley
DE • Dallas, S.F.The only guy — at least until Sunday night — who can match Brady's ring total as a player. Haley is in the Cowboys Ring of Honor as a 4-3 end and the 49ers' Hall of Fame as a 3-4 linebacker. He won two Super Bowls as a member of San Francisco's Team of the '80s, and three Super Bowls as a member of the Cowboys' Team of the '90s.
92Reggie White
DE • Green BayBrett Favre wasn't the only guy who led the Packers from laughingstocks back to Super Bowl champions. The "Minister of Defense" was unstoppable with three sacks in Super Bowl XXXI.
75Joe Greene
DT • PittsburghThere's no greater slam dunk on this team than "Mean Joe." The leader of the Team of the '70s. It's fitting that he had a sack, an interception, a forced fumble and a fumble recovery in four Super Bowls.
54Randy White
DT • DallasHe didn't win four Super Bowls, but he was a wrecking ball on the line. Went 1-2 in Super Bowls, but had four sacks. Was co-MVP along with defensive end Harvey Martin in Super Bowl XII.
52Ray Lewis
LB • BaltimoreWill be a first-ballot Hall of Famer on Saturday. No Super Bowl defense is complete without Lewis. Won MVP of Super Bowl XXXV and retired after winning the Super Bowl 12 years later.
50Mike Singletary
LB • ChicagoSorry, Jack Lambert. You belong on this team, but we need to make room for the leader of the '85 Bears. No defense stormed through the playoffs and the Super Bowl the way Da Bears did.
56Lawrence Taylor
LB • N.Y. GiantsLT doesn't have flashy Super Bowl stats, but the greatest OLB ever went 2-0 in Super Bowls. He helped beat John Elway in Super Bowl XXI and hold the high-flying Bills to 19 points in Super Bowl XXV.
21Deion Sanders
CB • Dallas, S.F.One of the best cover corners ever won back-to-back Super Bowls with rival teams. Had one INT and was part of a shutdown D for two teams. He also caught a 47-yard pass in Super Bowl XXX.
26Herb Adderley
CB • G.B., DallasPlayed in four Super Bowls. Won three. Like Gregg, his Packers and Cowboys teammate, he won seven titles overall, including a three-peat from 1965 through the first two Super Bowls.
42Ronnie Lott
S • San FranciscoNo defender hit harder or was more feared downfield. Went 4-0 in Super Bowls, first as a corner then as a safety. Was part of a defense that surrendered three TD passes in four Super Bowls.
13Jake Scott
S • MiamiThe MVP of Super Bowl VII, which solidified the '72 Dolphins as the only undefeated, untied team. Had two INTs in that one-score game. Went to three straight Super Bowls, winning two.SPECIALISTS / SITUATIONAL
4Adam Vinatieri
K • N.E., IndianapolisThe ageless future Hall of Famer is simply the best clutch kicker in league history. Went 4-1 in Super Bowls with late game-winning kicks in Super Bowls XXXVI and XXXVIII.
8Ray Guy
P • OaklandNot that this team would ever get into a field-position battle, but if it did, here's the punter by which all others are measured. Helped the Raiders win three Super Bowls.
81Desmond Howard
Returns • G.B.The only returner to win MVP. Helped Favre win his ring with 244 return yards. Had six punt returns for 90 yards, and four kick returns for 154 yards, including a 99-yard TD.
47Mel Blount
Nickel CB • Pitt.This huge, physical, mauling corner was at the forefront of the NFL's decision in '78 to make big rule changes to open up the passing game. Had two INTs while winning four Super Bowls.