It turns out Surly can make great beer — and great copy.
Yep, the latest buzz around the popular Minneapolis brewery isn't about a hot new beer, but its hot take on life in Minnesota.
With Super Bowl week in full effect, every media outlet in town is publishing stories explaining our kooky Minnesotan-ness to out-of-towners (*cough* *cough*). Well, we can all stop, because Surly posted what might be the best one yet. A lot of people agree — it's been shared thousands of times on Facebook.
The web post, titled "Welcome to Minnesota: A Primer," begins with a photo of the deflated Metrodome, which is hilarious and oh-so-self-deprecatingly Minnesotan.
But wait, it gets even better. The primer is constructed around a list of facts, augmented by semi-facts, and further augmented by flat-out opinion about WHO WE ARE IN OUR SOULS. Some factual examples:
"Please enjoy Nicollet Mall. It took us 12 years to finish the thing."
Also:
"Please enjoy the Mall of America. We built it on top of our other old stadium. That team went to a lot of Super Bowls! Don't ask us any questions beyond this!"
The list includes a warning or two:
"The elevated sidewalks that connect downtown buildings are called skyways. One visitor called them "skybridges" and his body never was found."
And then there are just keen observations:
"When we almost collide in a doorway, we will say 'Ope.' It's pure instinct at this point. We don't know why we say it. We're sorry we ran into you. We said 'Ope.' Let's move on."
"You call it soda. We call it pop. We don't get it either that one's not changing."
This one is sooo real:
"RE: The 'Fargo' accent. unless you get outside of the metro area, you won't hear it. Once you get to the suburbs, you'll hear traces. Once you get outstate, it's like being in the movie."
A strong message to outsiders here:
"You'll engage in a conversation about the weather with a native Minnesotan. We literally cannot help it. It's a compulsion. We got a ton of snow last week, but it was nothing like the Halloween Blizzard of 1991. See? We're already doing it."
And my favorite:
"Be ready to experience first-class passive aggression. If someone says your old school Ron Jaworski Eagles jersey is 'interesting,' they are not a fan. If someone says, 'I'm not mad,' they are, in fact, mad. If you get to a 4-way stop at roughly the same time as another driver(s), your best bet is to just abandon the car, get out, and walk to your destination, as who gets to go first will never be resolved by conventional means."
To read the full primer, visit Surly here.
And if you're wondering who wrote this thing, it's Stephan Neuman, the brewery's copy writer and Twin Cities tweeter extraordinaire (@RandBallsStu). Rock on!
