REVIEW: Before a half-full Target Center, she rocked the outfits and he made the girls scream.
Updated: August 2, 2012 - 5:44 AM
It was a special occasion: the Twin Cities debut of Jennifer Lopez, the one and only J.Lo. Actress, dancer, singer, fashion plate, fashion mogul, Latina icon, "American Idol" judge.
Fans wore heels that were too high, skirts that were too short and spangles that were just right.
To celebrate this momentous concert, the Star Tribune invited three "American Idol" judges -- Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell and Steven Tyler -- to critique J.Lo. and co-headliner Enrique Iglesias on Wednesday night at half-full Target Center.
None of the judges could make it, but we imagined what they might have said after about 75 minutes each of Iglesias, 37, and J.Lo, 43.
Simon: First of all, I'm glad you straightened out the show. All those early reviews complained about the order, and you responded with a prudent move. Frankie J first, then Enrique and closing with Jennifer. That's a good combination: He with the dimples and her with the derriere.
Randy: Jennifer, you brought it, girl. You had all the ambition of a Britney Spears production, but you sure can dance, girl. You should be very, very proud of yourself.
Steven: Whomp bam boom. J. Wow! You took all the advice you give on "Idol" and followed it yourself. You connected with your fans. And with that Catwoman in the crystals outfit, you put the accent on your assets.
Your moves were so hot, you could move in on my block. In fact, ditch Enrique and come join the Aerosmith tour.
Simon: Jennifer, your hair was gorgeous. Your outfits were fabulous. The dancing was absolutely brilliant. That was a very well-conceived Vegas-worthy production. You've gone from Jenny on the Block to Jenny on the Strip. But I have to say something about your voice: It's thinner than Kate Moss. It's small and breathy. Technical vocal enhancements are your best friend.
You fell during the first number and later made fun of it. But that was about as unscripted as you got. Now, Enrique, you were quite spontaneous.
Randy: Yo, listen, Enrique. You rocked the house. And you made it bilingual. Nice. I'd love to get you to do a duet with my girl Mariah Carey.
Simon: You were quite the smoothie, Enrique. You ventured out into the crowd, using fans' cellphones to take their photos, slapping hands, giving hugs. That bit with the two blokes from the audience singing "Stand By Me" and drinking with you onstage was momentarily funny, but it dragged on way too long and destroyed the momentum of your show. I did quite like the way you flirted with that young blonde woman who joined you on the remote stage for "Hero." You must have kissed her five times.
Steven: You dirty dog.
Simon: You clearly connected with the crowd -- all 7,000 of them. But your outfit -- the faded jeans, T-shirt, construction worker boots and Castro cap -- it looked like you were ready to go walk your dog.
Steven: You can come sing "Walking the Dog" with Aerosmith any time. I don't care as much about what you wear. Because you made the women scream. That's all that matters.
Twitter: @jonbream • 612-673-1719
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